The fear around being authentic
Why don’t we just do what we want to do instead of thinking about what others will think of us?
Why don’t we just say what we want to say without the fear of being judged by others?
Why do we act according to what other people expect from us instead of just being true to ourselves?
Living with authenticity can lift a huge weight out of our backs, and yet this is not so easy for the most of us. Why? Because when we were children, we needed to trade this authenticity for belonging, so that we would increase our chances of survival if we had someone loving us.
We learned this trait, and then we carried it throughout our adult life, even if now we don’t need to please others or be loved by others to survive anymore.
So how can we reclaim our authenticity and live in FREEDOM?
For some of us, we get inspired when we listen to other people’s stories, or when we are surrounded by people who live in freedom, so we start to feel that it is safe to express ourselves and we start to explore the terrain.
For others, we need to be assured by scientific sources, or at least by a good number of people doing that practice for a good amount of time.
There is no right or wrong, these are just two different ways of learning.
However, I have an opinion about that.
I see the first way of learning, by experience, as a more feminine trait, while the second, by rational understanding, as a more masculine trait. We have both within us, and the secret is to find the right balance between these two.
While working as a scientist for 13 years, I have developed a strong sense of skepticism. As I good scientist, you have to, because you have to test your hypothesis based on very strong statements. Well, that made me skeptical also in the other areas of my life, I started to question everything, as if life was an experiment, where the conditions needed to be controlled in order to work. I totally forgot that there is room to play, to be curious and more than that, to have FAITH (which now is even a trait used in positive psychology!)
So now, working as a stress and burnout coach and voice counselor, I have decided that I would rather cultivate faith than skepticism. Why? Because this leaves room for life to surprise me.
I still believe in science and knowing the science helps me to find the best tools and the best practices for each person I work with, but faith and intuition are the cherry on top of the cake.
Using my intuition helps me to feel when that person is ready for one extra step, helps me to see when there is room for growth and when that person has reached their limiting capacity for that session, so that growth can be experienced in a light and enjoyable way.
So if you take a look into your own life, which of these sides you think you need to cultivate more? The more structured and disciplined side of life or the more playful and intuitive way of approaching things?